Saturday, September 21, 2013

Life with twins who cry... and cry and cry.

This is a post I've been thinking of writing for a while, but never could really figure out how to word it. So I'm just going to do my best, prepare for my normal rambling writing! I love my babies, more than anything. And I knew that motherhood would be challenging, and there would be 'loud' moments. I wasn't really quite expecting the crying that we sometimes get though! Back in the NICU days, the babies barely ever cried. They were nice and quiet, and the only little cries we ever heard from them was when the nurses had to peel them away from our nice warm bodies to go back in their isolettes - I would cry too, if I was being taken from my Mommy's chest and put back in a little box - albeit a nice warm cozy box. They would both calm right back down and fall right to sleep within a couple seconds. I remember feeling so bad for the other Mom's in the NICU who had crying babies and thinking how lucky we were that it wasn't that way for us. We got a DVD before I was discharged about 'the purple period' of crying and I threw it out, laughing that 'we don't need this!!'

The babies came home and from the beginning, they've generally been more on the crabby end of the spectrum normally. They love to be held, love nursing, love falling asleep in our arms - however they aren't crazy about entertaining themselves, even for short periods of time, and evenings are quite often downright awful. And now, this isn't just crying - I'm talking full on screaming fits. Luckily, things have really calmed down a lot in that sense over the past few weeks, but there were a few times where it was pretty bad. Nothing would console them except for nursing, and I can think of two times where they didn't even want to do that. It can bring you down - you're doing everything you can for these tiny people and they just seem so angry!! We tried bio gaia, gripe water, oval drops - you name it. It didn't seem like reflux as it really isn't occurring always after feeds, and they're not big spitter-uppers or anything. It was just crabbiness during the day and extreme crabbiness at night.

I can think of ONE time I've cried since the babies have been home, it must have been about two weeks ago. We had a rough few days/ nights and I had them in the car for a 20 minute drive and they just screamed and screamed. I got home with them, and it continued. That's the only time I just held them and cried because I didn't really know what else to do. I think I'm a pretty good mother (I hope) and the crying is hard on my ego, haha. In all of these case, the babies are fed, changed, burped, comfortable - you name it. It can really only be chalked up to 'colic', or so says the doctor I saw a few weeks ago. We were worried that maybe they were sick because they had very 'hoarse' cries. He listened to their lungs etc, and all was fine. They were just tiring out their little vocal cords from it.

Now, the boys are 13 weeks old tomorrow (5.5 weeks corrected) and things really have improved a lot. With the boys being born almost 2 months early, we essentially get an extra 2 months of the newborn stage, which is great... just not for forever. We now have very very few days of the constant screaming, however it's still tiring that they are just overall kind of crabby babies. They can turn from content to crying in the blink of an eye and sometimes it's just out of nowhere. They aren't crazy about diaper changes, getting put down, being buckled into their car seats/ stroller... I could go on. And they aren't afraid to let me know when they are unhappy!!! They are slowly starting to smile and every once in a while, we'll get a little peek of one, but a lot of the time, they just seem kind of unimpressed with the world around them.

But, here's the thing that is tough. THEY TAKE TURNS!!! I feel like I'm constantly around a crying baby and it's because they switch off. It's like in the morning when we are all cuddling and comfy together (I love my morning cuddles with them, they're angels!!) Adam and Scott have a conversation and set up a game plan for the day of who cries when. Adam gets the 10-12 shift, and then they will both shut off for 30 minutes and then Scott goes for a couple hours. One baby will be totally content and the other one a 'fussy mussy' (as I call it) and then it switches. If there was only one baby, it would probably be totally average at this point, but we kind of get hit with a double whammy.

Hmmm.... Now that I'm writing this all out I'm feeling very defensive of my little sweeties and insisting that 'they're not that bad!!!!'. They're really not. I'm just venting a little bit. I manage to go out every single day, and make it out for dinner/ lunch/ starbucks all the time, which is a feat with one baby, let alone two. I'm lucky that they are easily consoled with boobs (and now that I have an ergo carrier, they LOVE that too), and especially lucky that they are so damn cute. I just can't wait for them to be 'happy'! I know it's coming though, in those sneaking smiles in the mornings, how they're starting to reach for the toys on their little kicking piano play mat. They are also coo-ing more and more every day and it honestly melts my heart every time I hear it. A sound from them that isn't a cry is just the most amazing thing in the world to hear, and it's happening, slowly but surely! Good times are coming, and they're coming fast. We're coming out of this 'stage' and I know it. In the meantime, Jamie and I have great senses of humour about it all, and our relationship is stronger than ever. I'm so lucky to have him to parent the boys with, and he's lucky to have me too! We're a good team! I just hope that the boys don't hold us to any of the bribes I've tried bribing them with, I already owe them cars and a few Disney trips!

But yeah... just a little bit of a vent. I'm sure most people on my facebook have seen many of the photos I've posted labelled with 'Scott/Adam was crabby' and this is kind of explaining it a bit. Plus, I'm convinced that a more 'difficult' baby will just have to turn out to be an easy toddler, right?? I'll take that trade! I love my boys, I love being a Mother. I love that even though life is nothing like it was, and I hear a symphony of tears every day, it's been amazing and will only get better. Before we know it, we'll have toddlers and we'll be hearing the sounds of laughter (and likely things breaking) all day long.

Sheesh, long mega ramble as usual. I don't think this made too much sense. Plus it's late - I love my quiet 'Mommy-time' after the boys go to bed... I should have another little bit before they're up for a feed, I hope so at least!

We're doing family photos tomorrow, and I'm hoping they break out some of those sneaky smiles for them, but not holding my breath. They're perfectly cute just the way they are!

In the spirit of today's post, we need to include some crabby pics!
Unimpressed Adam

Scott wasn't happy with me!

Scott - 'I don't know what I'm crying about!!'

Adam left - wahhhhh!


But, my boys are perfect angels as well, so here's some pics to prove that too! <3
Sleeping cuties - Adam in blue



Two cuties butts

Adam and Scott - little bookworms!

Adam with his Daddy

Scott cozy in the ergo.

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