Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Diabetes Burnout

Ahhh, already I feel like I'm back in the world of diabetes burnout. I love my pump, and I love what it can do for me, but I find myself getting almost depressed over my diabetes at times since I've gone back on. Something about being connected to it 24/7 and maybe the fact that I've had a string of iffy infusion sets for the past couple weeks is really wearing on me.

It's hard, I know that pumping is the best thing for me. I love that I can sleep in, and when I have a baby in the future I will never remember to take my Lantus so it's great to have that.... but it just feels like I can NEVER get away from it. I was thinking about when we're going to Vegas again, and just the fact that I can't just go to the pool without something hanging off of me is a little bit grating. Same thing with the cruise... I'm not shy about my pump at all, I just kind of wish it's not something I had to deal with while out at the beach. I have all these cute dresses that I've bought recently and none of them look right anymore with the pump. There is always going to be that lump under my clothing. I know I'm probably the only one who notices it, but it still bothers me.

I dunno, maybe there's underlying stuff going on recently that could be bringing me down, but I feel very debbie downer about stuff as of late. On the other side, we have Vegas in 2.5 weeks, and the cruise in just over a month :) That is for sure something to look forward to.

I'm going to try to update this more, I've really 'fallen off the wagon'... I haven't been keeping track of my carbs or counting them as accurately as before, and I cancelled my most recent Dr's appt (because of a laser eye surgery follow up appt) and I haven't rebooked it. I've been going to the diabetes in pregnancy clinic @ the hospital for about the last 10 months, and I kind of want to just go to a normal dr's appt... I don't really feel like filling out these gigantic forms right now, as I'll have to fill them out religously for however long it takes for us to conceive, and then throughout my entire pregnancy as well.

Bah, sorry, I feel like I'm just whining in this post, not my style for sure. Hopefully Vegas will bring me out of my funk soon!

1 comment:

  1. I know how you feel. I am not ashamed or embarrassed of my pump, I just wish it was easier to hide at times. People are constantly asking me why I wear a pager lol..