TWINS!!!!

Wow, and how times change.... So after my last post, Jamie and I took another trip to Vegas (which was amazing) and we had actually just thought that we would 'stop' trying for a couple months and just enjoy the holidays and the cruise (which we're going on next week!) ** Holy crap, I just realized how LONG this post is going to be, sorry!!!**

Well, life had a different plan for us. I had an obgyn appt on November 26th and he had his locum (I think that's the right word) try to do a hysteroscope on me to just double check and make sure my uterus looked normal etc. She didn't actually end up getting in (from what I understood) but he took a sample for a biopsy. When he was finished I realized that I was on CD 20 and said 'so I guess if I WAS pregnant, I'm likely not anymore...?' He said that if there was anything, it would likely still be in my fallopian tube, but yes - not a great idea to do that in the second half of your cycle. I wasn't too worried, because I didn't think there was a chance of anything happening anyways, and I was glad that we were just taking steps to make sure that there wasn't anything wrong with me. I  consulted Dr. Google when I got home and yep - everything said to only do it prior to ovulation, so I had completely written off that month. The next Monday, Jamie and I went out to get a Christmas Tree and when we got home, I was just strictly BORED so I decided to take a pregnancy test. I had been obsessed with peeing on sticks in previous months and we had stock piled some tests from last time we were down in the states (so much cheaper down there) so why not. My period wasn't due for a couple days, but again - I was bored. Well.... instantly I saw what looked like a 'blank line' if that makes sense and then very quickly..... a very very bright pink positive!

So after I called my Mom (who had just landed in California) bawling my eyes out, I e-mailed my awesome endo and shared the news with her. She had been a key part of the 'process' and I was excited to let her know! The next day I had my first blood test. I had my hcg levels tested... 5 times I think, and I noticed that when I was supposed to be 5 weeks, my levels were in the 6 week range. I knew that it's common for the range to be veryyy broad, so I didn't really think too much of it, but I did e-mail my endo a week before my U/S and said 'my hcg levels seem high - I think there's two in there!!'. She (rightly) told me to stop googling, haha!! Everything seemed great, and morning sickness started kicking my ass pretty bad right around 5.5 weeks, but nothing crazy or anything.

Little baby 'A' & 'B'!

 I had my ultrasound scheduled for December 28th and I was glad it was on a Friday before I had a 4 day weekend, I was so worried that somehow something was wrong and that there wouldn't be anything in my uterus - again, I had been reading way too many scary stories. I started chugging my water at the right time, and promptly threw up most of the 4 cups I was supposed to drink, always fun! Luckily I was able to keep sipping throughout the drive, and when I got in, the tech was able to get a good look right away. He was probing around and I instantly saw a little heart beating in there (so cool by the way!!) I thought I'd be funny and so I said 'There's only one in there, right? heh heh'. He instantly said 'Ah, I'm not confident about that yet...' continued moving the little wand thing around 'nope! you have two little people growing in you!' At that point he said it would be best to have a female come in and do a transvaginal ultrasound with a female tech and I had to empty my bladder. He told me not to tell Jamie yet (who was waiting to come in about 20 feet away) just to make sure first. He led me to the main bathrooms, which were in use, and he had to bring me to one directly in front of where Jamie was sitting. I have the WORST poker face in the world and just held up two fingers and said 'TWO!!!' I went to pee and started crying instantly. I don't know if it was shock, nerves, hormones, fear.... either way it was an emotional moment, haha! I went back in and the tech started searching around and then she went and got Jamie to show him as well. There are very few things I actually remember from the Ultrasound. I heard 'identical', 'membrane', 'two yolk sacs', 'they look perfectly normal', and that one was 1.03 cm, and the other was 1.06 cm, which is a great sign that they're measuring so close in size. We also saw both heart beats, but didn't get the BPM or anything. The Ultrasound finished up, and we went to sit down while they printed us a picture and double checked everything. Of course we couldn't wait to tell family, and we were just completely brain dead in shock about it all. I barely heard a word the original tech said although I heard something about 'they're sharing an apartment, we hope they have separate fridges'. I thought there were identical and fraternal twins, but that it didn't make any difference during the pregnancy. The tech did mention that identical was higher risk, and when I said that I hoped they were boy/girl he very quickly shot down that idea as they are identical!

Jamie and I left in a daze, photo in hand, and headed home - where I instantly started googling.... Let me just say that was a terrible idea. I instantly came across a lot of information on 'mo/mo' twins, which is where the babies are sharing a placenta (apartment) and amniotic sac (fridge). Because the tech had made it pretty clear that he didn't see a membrane between them, I instantly assumed they are mo/mo and could only envision 50/50 chances of making it to viability, hospital bedrest at 24 weeks, and umbilical cords tangled up to the size of a softball. As I continued my research (of course I couldn't actually talk to my obgyn as he's closed over the holidays) I found some reassuring information. Couple things; mo/mo twins are VERY rare, like 1 in 50,000 chances. Yes I bought a lottery ticket this week, why not. Also, two yolk sacs usually mean two amniotic sacs. Not always, but usually. I'll take that. They are also attached on opposite sides of my uterus, so there is lots of room for a membrane between them. Many women are misdiagnosed as mo/mo and the membrane isn't found until 10-14 weeks. The odds are in our favour that they DO have a membrane, so until I hear otherwise, those little guys have some separation between them.

Now because the main point of this blog is about my diabetes, I'll talk (briefly for now) about that. Days prior to finding out, and for 2 or 3 days afterwards, my blood was running really really high. My blood is typically high through the second half of my cycle, and until I found out, I didn't think too much of it. I ran with a +10% basal for a few days, and since then, I've had the opposite problem. I have cut down my basals significantly, and I am still experiencing a lot of lows, especially at night. I can go to bed at 7.6 with no insulin on board (iob) and even with my basals cut down pretty aggressively I am still waking up at 4AM needing a juice box every night. I'm thinking I'm going to have to just start waking up at 3AM for a snack to avoid this! If I don't wake up at 4AM, I am waking up at 7:30 in the 2's, very frustrating. None of my lows have been 'bad', and I know that I will be experiencing some extreme insulin resistance in a few short months, so I am happy to deal with this (and enjoy some extra juice boxes and snacks) for now. This is going to be a challenge unlike any other I've had, and I am ready to take it on. All I can do is test frequently, keep up with my Dr's appt's, which are frequent and just do the best job I can.

So to summarize this insanely long post.... I am excited, nervous, terrified, overwhelmed and a million other emotions. It's funny how it is all switching over to just extreme awe now. I never knew I could be so ATTACHED to two little balls of cells in my uterus, the size of raspberries. I even look at the ultrasound pic and think that baby a is more like me as a child - very outgoing and 'out there' - at least in the picture, and baby b is more like little Jamie. It was quietly cuddled up against the placenta during the ultrasound. I think they are the cutest things in the world and can't wait to know if they are boys or girls. I originally thought boys, but now my guesses change every 5 minutes. 2013 should be an AMAZING year, bring it on!!!

Little cuties, safe in my tum!