11 weeks along!

Well, today I am 11 weeks, 2 days pregnant. So far things have been pretty good, minus the continuous morning sickness! Jamie and I went on a cruise with both sets of parents last week, and the babies were very nice to me, the entire time... I started throwing up again literally as we were wheeling our luggage out of our cabin, and it continued at the airport heading home. Those babies really wanted to stay on vacation, I understand the feeling :)

Diabetes wise, it's been a little bit of a challenge. I've been having a huge problem with lows in the morning, where I literally probably went a month without being able to wake up above 3. I've hacked back my overnight basals significantly and today I woke up at 9AM to a 5.7, yayyyyy!!! Things aren't going the same way post meal any more though... A few times over the past week, my bloods gone up to above 12 1 hour post meal, where my pump doesn't want to correct due to iob. An hour later, it's creeped up to 13, and my pump will let me correct a little bit, and an hour later it's either the same or even up to 14!! I know the occasional high is okay during pregnancy, as long as it's brought down quickly, but I feel AWFUL running in the teens for hours at a time, ugh. I'm trying so hard to be diligent, but sometimes it's just not working. It's scary cause I'm not even in to my second trimester where the real insulin resistance will be kicking in. My A1C was 5.7 a couple weeks ago, so things are looking good so far, but I just constantly feel guilty when my blood isn't good. I have my next diabetes appt next Tuesday, can't wait. I think in the second trimester, I'm going to be on a very lowwwww carb diet, sadly enough. I'm jealous of pregnant women who can just be pregnant, and not have to deal with diabetes on top of that. I don't want to be a debbie downer, but it's just a huge added level of responsibility on top of everything else, and I hope I can do it properly, ahhhh. WE NEED A GOOD CGM SYSTEM IN CANADA!!!! I would do terrible things for a dexcom right now. I'm tempted to get a prescription in the States and buy one down there, but I know as soon as I do that, it will be out in Canada.

Anyways, I'll end this with a weekly pregnancy survey I found, and hopefully that will inspire me to blog every week! And eventually maybe I'll actually start sharing this publicly... Maybe :)

How far along? 11 weeks, 2 days
Total weight gain: So far, down about 8-10 lbs, depending on the time of day. Morning sickness has been a bitch!!
Maternity Clothes? Actually, yes! I wore a maternity skirt to dinner tonight, it was comfy! That's the only thing I've bought so far though.
Stretch Marks? None, yet... Hoping it will stay that way.
Sleep: Frequent, and great. I am loving the fact that my insomnia is long gone with pregnancy. I know I won't be sleeping too well in a few months, so I'm trying to enjoy it as much as I can now.
Miss anything? Haha, booze? I've been too sick to really crave alcohol, but I do miss the life Jamie and I had. I know life with the babies will be awesome in it's own way, but it's sad to leave the life we once had behind in the dust. And I miss not being responsible for 2 babies in my body, and that everything I do effects them 100%. It's a lot of pressure.
Movement: Nothing yet, wishing the weeks would fly by so I can start feeling something, can't wait :)
Food cravings: Nothing major - it was sour candies a couple of weeks ago, and today I wanted a cupcake, but settled for a pear and carrots instead, haha. The cupcake place closed at 7PM :(
Anything making you queasy or sick? Anything and everything! The past two days I've thrown up in the passenger seat of Jamie's truck, which has been loads of fun. Overall though, I think I'm on the mend as far as morning sickness goes.
Gender: No idea yet, I'm over the moon at the idea of either boys OR girls. I can't wait to find out though.
Labour signs: Nothing, yet. That would be a problem and a half.
Symptoms: Tiredness mainly, and morning sickness. Other than that, maybe sore boobs?
Bellybutton in or out? In, totally.
Wedding rings on or off? On, my fingers have actually shrunk if anything. I'm thinking that's cause of the cold weather though.
Happy or moody most of the time? I've been in a pretty decent mood, not really too moody at all!
Looking forward to: My next ultrasound on February 6th!!! I can't wait to see them again. It's for the NT screening, and I am just hoping like crazy that everything is 100% normal, I know it will be though.

Me and the babies <3

TWINS!!!!

Wow, and how times change.... So after my last post, Jamie and I took another trip to Vegas (which was amazing) and we had actually just thought that we would 'stop' trying for a couple months and just enjoy the holidays and the cruise (which we're going on next week!) ** Holy crap, I just realized how LONG this post is going to be, sorry!!!**

Well, life had a different plan for us. I had an obgyn appt on November 26th and he had his locum (I think that's the right word) try to do a hysteroscope on me to just double check and make sure my uterus looked normal etc. She didn't actually end up getting in (from what I understood) but he took a sample for a biopsy. When he was finished I realized that I was on CD 20 and said 'so I guess if I WAS pregnant, I'm likely not anymore...?' He said that if there was anything, it would likely still be in my fallopian tube, but yes - not a great idea to do that in the second half of your cycle. I wasn't too worried, because I didn't think there was a chance of anything happening anyways, and I was glad that we were just taking steps to make sure that there wasn't anything wrong with me. I  consulted Dr. Google when I got home and yep - everything said to only do it prior to ovulation, so I had completely written off that month. The next Monday, Jamie and I went out to get a Christmas Tree and when we got home, I was just strictly BORED so I decided to take a pregnancy test. I had been obsessed with peeing on sticks in previous months and we had stock piled some tests from last time we were down in the states (so much cheaper down there) so why not. My period wasn't due for a couple days, but again - I was bored. Well.... instantly I saw what looked like a 'blank line' if that makes sense and then very quickly..... a very very bright pink positive!

So after I called my Mom (who had just landed in California) bawling my eyes out, I e-mailed my awesome endo and shared the news with her. She had been a key part of the 'process' and I was excited to let her know! The next day I had my first blood test. I had my hcg levels tested... 5 times I think, and I noticed that when I was supposed to be 5 weeks, my levels were in the 6 week range. I knew that it's common for the range to be veryyy broad, so I didn't really think too much of it, but I did e-mail my endo a week before my U/S and said 'my hcg levels seem high - I think there's two in there!!'. She (rightly) told me to stop googling, haha!! Everything seemed great, and morning sickness started kicking my ass pretty bad right around 5.5 weeks, but nothing crazy or anything.

Little baby 'A' & 'B'!

 I had my ultrasound scheduled for December 28th and I was glad it was on a Friday before I had a 4 day weekend, I was so worried that somehow something was wrong and that there wouldn't be anything in my uterus - again, I had been reading way too many scary stories. I started chugging my water at the right time, and promptly threw up most of the 4 cups I was supposed to drink, always fun! Luckily I was able to keep sipping throughout the drive, and when I got in, the tech was able to get a good look right away. He was probing around and I instantly saw a little heart beating in there (so cool by the way!!) I thought I'd be funny and so I said 'There's only one in there, right? heh heh'. He instantly said 'Ah, I'm not confident about that yet...' continued moving the little wand thing around 'nope! you have two little people growing in you!' At that point he said it would be best to have a female come in and do a transvaginal ultrasound with a female tech and I had to empty my bladder. He told me not to tell Jamie yet (who was waiting to come in about 20 feet away) just to make sure first. He led me to the main bathrooms, which were in use, and he had to bring me to one directly in front of where Jamie was sitting. I have the WORST poker face in the world and just held up two fingers and said 'TWO!!!' I went to pee and started crying instantly. I don't know if it was shock, nerves, hormones, fear.... either way it was an emotional moment, haha! I went back in and the tech started searching around and then she went and got Jamie to show him as well. There are very few things I actually remember from the Ultrasound. I heard 'identical', 'membrane', 'two yolk sacs', 'they look perfectly normal', and that one was 1.03 cm, and the other was 1.06 cm, which is a great sign that they're measuring so close in size. We also saw both heart beats, but didn't get the BPM or anything. The Ultrasound finished up, and we went to sit down while they printed us a picture and double checked everything. Of course we couldn't wait to tell family, and we were just completely brain dead in shock about it all. I barely heard a word the original tech said although I heard something about 'they're sharing an apartment, we hope they have separate fridges'. I thought there were identical and fraternal twins, but that it didn't make any difference during the pregnancy. The tech did mention that identical was higher risk, and when I said that I hoped they were boy/girl he very quickly shot down that idea as they are identical!

Jamie and I left in a daze, photo in hand, and headed home - where I instantly started googling.... Let me just say that was a terrible idea. I instantly came across a lot of information on 'mo/mo' twins, which is where the babies are sharing a placenta (apartment) and amniotic sac (fridge). Because the tech had made it pretty clear that he didn't see a membrane between them, I instantly assumed they are mo/mo and could only envision 50/50 chances of making it to viability, hospital bedrest at 24 weeks, and umbilical cords tangled up to the size of a softball. As I continued my research (of course I couldn't actually talk to my obgyn as he's closed over the holidays) I found some reassuring information. Couple things; mo/mo twins are VERY rare, like 1 in 50,000 chances. Yes I bought a lottery ticket this week, why not. Also, two yolk sacs usually mean two amniotic sacs. Not always, but usually. I'll take that. They are also attached on opposite sides of my uterus, so there is lots of room for a membrane between them. Many women are misdiagnosed as mo/mo and the membrane isn't found until 10-14 weeks. The odds are in our favour that they DO have a membrane, so until I hear otherwise, those little guys have some separation between them.

Now because the main point of this blog is about my diabetes, I'll talk (briefly for now) about that. Days prior to finding out, and for 2 or 3 days afterwards, my blood was running really really high. My blood is typically high through the second half of my cycle, and until I found out, I didn't think too much of it. I ran with a +10% basal for a few days, and since then, I've had the opposite problem. I have cut down my basals significantly, and I am still experiencing a lot of lows, especially at night. I can go to bed at 7.6 with no insulin on board (iob) and even with my basals cut down pretty aggressively I am still waking up at 4AM needing a juice box every night. I'm thinking I'm going to have to just start waking up at 3AM for a snack to avoid this! If I don't wake up at 4AM, I am waking up at 7:30 in the 2's, very frustrating. None of my lows have been 'bad', and I know that I will be experiencing some extreme insulin resistance in a few short months, so I am happy to deal with this (and enjoy some extra juice boxes and snacks) for now. This is going to be a challenge unlike any other I've had, and I am ready to take it on. All I can do is test frequently, keep up with my Dr's appt's, which are frequent and just do the best job I can.

So to summarize this insanely long post.... I am excited, nervous, terrified, overwhelmed and a million other emotions. It's funny how it is all switching over to just extreme awe now. I never knew I could be so ATTACHED to two little balls of cells in my uterus, the size of raspberries. I even look at the ultrasound pic and think that baby a is more like me as a child - very outgoing and 'out there' - at least in the picture, and baby b is more like little Jamie. It was quietly cuddled up against the placenta during the ultrasound. I think they are the cutest things in the world and can't wait to know if they are boys or girls. I originally thought boys, but now my guesses change every 5 minutes. 2013 should be an AMAZING year, bring it on!!!

Little cuties, safe in my tum!