2 month shots and a trip to the PNE!

Well, the boys are now 9.5 weeks old and their first round of shots are officially complete! We had our first appt with their pediatrician on Tuesday and it went great. We started off by getting them weighed (Adam was 7 lbs 11 oz and Scott has doubled his birth weight, coming in at 7 lbs 3 oz). They are both 53 cm long, and I'm not sure about their heads, although I know they're growing! She took a good look at them, and they are doing fantastic. Both of them are completely healthy and growing like weeds. She was shocked at how early they left the hospital (36 weeks gestation). They had a few things against them from the start. According to her, twins usually have a harder time being born premature, and boys also typically do worse in the NICU than girls do. Luckily, that wasn't the case for our boys. She said they likely won't be very far behind and that they are doing things that are advanced for their adjusted age like sucking their thumbs and holding up their heads so well. She plotted their weights and heights on the chart for their adjusted age (as if they were actually born on August 15th) and they are both just a smidge below the 50th percentile for weight and slightly over the 50th for height! Such a relief. We're going back again in a couple months to make sure everything is still looking as good as they are now.

Yesterday we also took the boys in for their 2 month immunizations. No Mother wants to have to go through her baby (babies!!) getting poked, but I thought that they would handle it pretty well, given that they're tough NICU babies. We did Scott first and he sat on my lap. The nurse started with the oral syringe and he seemed to like that one. For the shots, it's two in one leg, and one in the other leg. She said she was going to try to them quickly and it was pretty fast. The first injection poor Scott screamed and held his breath for about 10 seconds because it shocked him. The whole experience was over in less than 30 seconds and he cried for a little bit more before he would start nursing at which point he was totally fine. Adam was asleep on Jamie before his turn and he was barely awake for the oral one. Jamie held him on his lap for the shots and he cried for a little bit during it all, but calmed down and was almost asleep again pretty much as soon as she was done. Jamie bounced him for a second and then he nursed for a bit with Scott and all was fine in the world. Not a pleasant experience by any means, but they were such champs and it wasn't nearly as bad as it could have been. Jamie and I were sure to stay calm, because I think it would have been harder on the babies if we were all stressed and panicky about it. I was pretty scared about their reactions, but we really lucked out. Both babies were sleepier than usual last night, and didn't seem to be in pain at all! We gave them nice warm baths before bed and they seemed totally fine. So happy that it went that well, I was nervous for feverish babies, making their evening witching hour worse than it has been before!

Now, how about the sleep saga? The boys have been sleeping in a playpen in our room since they came home aside from a 2 night stint in their own room, which didn't go too well. It seems like they were doing great (well great for them) for a while and then we had a stretch where things were not so fun. We're seeming to be pretty settled for now. At their worst we would start putting them down around 9PM and it would take forever. They would be up every 2 hours, so 11, 1, 3, 5 at which point we just bring them in bed with us. We were getting 3 hour stretches before we tried them in their own room. I had really high hopes for moving them out. They would fall asleep alone in their crib before 9PM, and I thought things would be great. For some reason though, they never last long in their own crib. I would get up at 11PM for a feed, put them back down (not an easy feat) and go to bed thinking that I'd have another 2-3 hours for sure. I'd hear crying on the monitor and think that so much time must have passed when in actuality I had only been sleeping for 45 minutes. Ugh. It would also take over an hour to get both of them back to sleep after a feeding, which really makes for a long night. We retreated from that idea, and back in the playpen they went. For the past few days we've had a 4 hour stretch to start, and then 2-3 hour stretches for the rest of the night. I don't mind getting up so often, I just love that now they will finally go back to sleep after a feeding. For now, at least. Jamie is a huge help at nighttime. If we had one baby I would easily be able to do it all, but an extra set of hands really comes in 'handy' at 2AM! I don't anticipate them sleeping through the night anytime soon, boo... Maybe one of these years!

After our Doctors appt, my Mom and I took the boys to the PNE. For those of you who don't live in BC, the PNE is basically a fair that comes every year to Vancouver. My Mom has been going annually since she was a kid, and continued the tradition with me, so it's only fitting that the boys start right from the beginning too! It's close to an hour drive, so I was a little worried about hearing a lot of screaming on the freeway where we can't pull over to do anything about it. They were perfect angels on the drive, and neither of them made a peep! We got there and loaded them up in their stroller (I'm still going to do a post on how I settled on a stroller!!) and in we went. First thing was to feed them, and we settled down in a park area to do so. I tandem fed them with a little cover and it went great. So much faster to do them both at once. After they had their lunch, we went through the prize home. My Mom carried Scott and I had Adam. Adam slept the entire time, but Scott was wide awake, taking in his surroundings. I think he really liked it because there was a lot of black and white, which apparently babies like to look at because of the contrast. We spent a couple hours after just walking around - we didn't really 'do' anything though. We didn't go in the area with all the animals just in case there was poo particles floating around or something and of course the boys are too young for shows, rides, games etc. So really, we just walked a LOT. But it was great, and nice to have a day out there. Mom and I had some dinner, fed the boys again, and off we went back home! Scott cried the first 5 minutes of the drive home, and Adam cried as we were pulling into our neighbourhood, so overall both boys did amazing!!!

Overall, things are going great. Last week was not so fun because they were really going through a horrible colicky, fussy period. It seemed like between 4-9 they would both SCREAM unless they were nursing, and even nursing barely made them happy. It was exhausting and very stressful. We're going on day 3 of that not happening anymore, so I'm really hoping it was just an awful stage!

Okay, pics :)

Little Scott

Adam

Family portrait

My monkies! Scott left

Scott & Adam flexing at the Doctors!

At the PNE!

Adam finding his thumb

Tandem feeding my boys

I did NOT win them any prizes

 

2 months old!

Wow... My boys are already two months old! It seems like just yesterday I was in the hospital, deliriously tired and rushing everyone because I wanted the babies born on the 23rd, because all of the numbers equaled up to 17. We were waiting on the OR getting cleaned and I think I offered to clean it myself!  It's 10:30 now, and Jamie and I were both getting all suited up, he looked pretty handsome in his doctor outfit. Although once he put on the hairnet thingy, he just looked 'like a Dad'. The past two months have been way different than I was expecting. I think I always knew that there was likely going to be some NICU time, but to me I expected it to be a couple days, not almost a whole month. I didn't expect it to be as hard (at first) as it was either. I didn't expect IV's, and heart rate drops, and I sure didn't expect both boys to come down with very serious blood infections in their first week of life. They exceeded everyone's' expectations and overcame their early start to life. Adam and Scott came home at exactly 36 weeks gestation on July 18th, the day after their Mommy & Daddy's anniversary!

They have changed our lives in such an amazing way. Yes, we now go to bed at 9PM with the babies, and our quarterly Vegas trips are just a distant memory... as is sleeping more than 2-3 hours at a time! We no longer go for dinner out to the Keg a couple times a month, and we scour the internet for which stores have the best deals on diapers and  wipes (Superstore had an amazing sale last week!!!). Don't even get me started on the fact that this is a summer completely without Palm Bays! Our living room is overflowing with playpens, bouncers, swings and tummy time mats. I wouldn't change it for anything. Even though our boys have moments where I want to put them back in my tummy (where they didn't make any NOISE) we are so lucky to have them in our lives. Every day that they grow bigger and cuter I love them more and more. They can do so many things. Hold up their heads for a long period of time, suck on their fists, or even sometimes get it right and actually get just a thumb in there. They love to flail their little arms around and try to smile, even though they haven't quite figured it out yet. They love going for long walks in their stroller, and listening to loud music in the car. They hate diaper changes, and cry every time. They have the cutest little burp faces, and they rival their Dad in the gas department. They are both 'boob sharks' and nurse like champs, gaining weight like crazy. I couldn't be more proud of them, and I can't wait for every milestone that's still to come. I am the luckiest Mommy in the world, and the luckiest wife to have Jamie here with me through it all. Happy two months to my sons, Adam & Scott!

Adam Peter Arsenault

Birth weight: 3 lbs, 15 oz

2 month weight: 7 lbs, 6 oz

Scott John Arsenault

Birth weight: 3 lbs, 9 oz

2 month weight: 6 lbs, 12 oz



Life with twins

So, the boys have been home for exactly one month (well one month tomorrow) and I am finally getting around to blogging again! Life has been crazy busy, but I love it! I want to say we're getting into a 'routine' but really... a routine is just whatever works for the babies each certain day. Things have been really good. The boys are growing like crazy and as of yesterday Adam weighs a whopping 6 lbs, 14 oz and Scott is gaining fast as well at 6 lbs 4 oz. They are just changing so much every day, I can't believe I grew them myself! With the help of Jamie of course.

I don't even know where to start with talking about our new life, so I'll go back to what this blog should have some of - diabetes stuff! Since the boys arrived, I have been running reallllyyy low. I cut back my basals pretty far after delivery and that didn't help much. I was barely bolusing at all for most meals and still ending up in the 2's and 3's - breastfeeding really takes a lot of energy I guess! I had my first diabetes appt and we cut everything back about an additional 30%. My daily basal rates went from about 28 units a day during pregnancy down to 16! It's working pretty well, but I did have to bring it back up a little bit in some areas. Seems to be working though. I'm having less lows, and I very rarely have highs. Usually if I do have a high it's because I completely forgot to bolus, which happens occasionally now. I don't test 12+ times a day like I did when I was pregnant, I don't ever seem to have a hand free to pull out my meter as much as I'd like to!

Ah, I wish I knew what to post about! I always have great intentions to blog, but there is just SO much to talk about and I get overwhelmed even thinking about where to start! So for today, I'll mention bathtime! They boys have hated their baths since getting home... Today we finally figured out that if we add way more water, they both LOVE it!! I guess they were just too cold before. We always put a warm wet washcloth over the tummy etc, but they still screamed. Today, I just filled it up higher so they were more submerged (they take separate baths by the way!) and both of them were great. Not a peep from either one! Bedtime has been great some days, awful some days. They are still sleeping in a playpen next to our bed and tonight was a good one. After their bath, I nursed both on the couch and they fell asleep on me for about 45 minutes... Brought them both upstairs at nine to be changed and swaddled and we each held one and read them a story.... Scott was completely konked out by the end, he was sucking his lip in his sleep - too cute. Adam was almost asleep and both boys went straight down without any fussing after being put in the playpen, amazing!!! I usually go to bed at the same time as them, but last night and tonight I've used it as my own 'Mommy' time to catch up on my blog/ websites/ have a snack and it's been nice! I'm heading to bed once I'm done this and if tonight is anything like last night, I should get a solid 3 hours of sleep before the next feed!

Life is good :) It's tough though... On one hand I can't wait to them to get bigger/ gain a little more independence but I know I will never get these infant moments back so I am enjoying all the quiet snuggles I can get every day. I'm a lucky Mommy. Speaking of lucky - I can't believe how great Jamie has been. He gets up 2-3 times in the night with me to help change and position the babies, and is the best at swaddling them back up to sleep. He cooks me dinner every single night and has just been so wonderful and supportive. So many people say that having babies is hard on a relationship, but I feel like we're closer than ever. Granted we don't exactly spend a whole lot of 'time' together anymore, but we'll get there. We're already planning our first trip back to Vegas sometime in the next year or 2, haha. Also, my Mom has kept me sane while Jamie is off at work. I don't find having babies 'tough' but I do have trouble juggling them at the same time. The actual feeding/ changing/ entertaining is easy - it's just hard to tote them both around at times when they can't support their own heads. My Mom comes over almost every day and we've been super active together, going for daily walks/ shopping etc. I've always had a great relationship with her, but it's just gotten so much stronger since the boys have been here, which I love. It's funny - having your own kids really makes you appreciate how much a mother does to provide for her children.

Anyways, it's almost 11, so bedtime for this Momma! Gone are the days of staying up until 1AM every night!!!

Couple pics  :)

Cuties doing tummy time

My sweeties - Adam and Scott

 

Starbucks run! Can't go a day without green tea

Out for lunch

Wearing both boys in a Moby - Adam hated it

Love my Britax stroller! Walmart trip :)

.... Sometimes a pretty common sight around here!! lol

Scott getting burped by Daddy

Adam being sassy

My loves!

Well that happened fast....

BOYS ARE HOME! They have actually been home since July 18th and with the newfound craziness, I have just had trouble updating my blog. I actually don't think I've turned on my laptop more than once since they've been home. So... let's backtrack a bit. My brain is pretty fried, but lets see how much I can remember from the last of their hospital stay!

I think last time I posted, I was mentioning that Adam was almost off the IV and that the boys would be moved into a crib together, assuming Scott could hold his temperature, I know I was a little worried about that. So, Sunday morning (the 14th) I showed up at the NICU for the 9 AM feed, to see the boys together in a crib! It was sooo nice to see both of them without IV's! I waited around for the Doctor to do his rounds and he mentioned again that the boys were excellent candidates for pediatrics (moving out of the NICU to just be 'feeder/grower' babies upstairs) and that he would put them on the list. I didn't think anything would happen soon, but Jamie and I came back after we had lunch to find out that a spot had opened and that the boys would be moving that day! The nurses told me that I could get a private room with them, so I went home to pack up all of my stuff. I got back to the hospital around 7PM and luckily didn't bring up my giant suitcase because it turns out I did NOT have a private room! The boys were in a ward room, which is basically a big room with cribs in all 4 corners. The nurse said that there would be a private room, but that she'd have to check with all of the other parents with babies in the ward room first to see if they want it. I guess I was last in line. The nurse said that two of the families likely wouldn't want it because they had other kids at home (and wouldn't be able to stay overnight anyways) but that there was one other family who probably would. I had to wait until the 9PM feeding for the other Mom to come in and decide. Well, come 9PM the other Mom is asked, and because she lived only 5 mins away she was great and gave it up for me! Yay! Apparently it wasn't going to be ready until the next day though, I had to go back home on Sunday night, oh well!

Happy Momma!

Cuties in their crib!

Crib in the ward room

 So Monday morning I showed up nice and early and we all got moved into our own room! I wasn't really sure what to expect from here. I knew we were getting 'close' to going home, but didn't want to get too excited or anything. A new Doctor checked them out that morning and I asked him 'best case scenario' of when they could go home and he said 'a few days' which was a HUGE shock. I was expecting another couple of weeks or something. I knew that in order to go home, the boys would have to take all of their feeds by mouth (either by breast or bottle) for 48 hours, pass their carseat test (sit in the car seat for 90 minutes without having any oxygen or heart rate problems) and not have any issues with their heart rates etc for at least 5 days. I wasn't sure how long everything was going to take, and if I was going to be staying the entire time. The first night was rough. I didn't have a bed in my room, just a crappy pull out chair, and it was freeezzingg! Adam was really fussy all night so the nurses kept coming in and taking him out so I could try to get some sleep, which didn't really happen. I figured we had at least a week left, so I didn't object to feeding them through their NG tubes in the middle of the night. I think for the 9 AM feed we did it by breast and I decided to just giv'r from there and try doing all feeds the right way from there on. Breast feeding in the hospital was difficult because we had to do 'test weighs' every time. I would have to weigh the baby, feed. and then weigh again. 1 gram would equal 1ml, so each baby had to gain at least 50 grams per feeding. It's not an exact science and I really found it frustrating weighing constantly while feeding, so I mostly bottle fed and pumped while in the hospital. Test weighs were sooo time consuming, and it really make breastfeeding stressful for me. Luckily, bottle feeding in the hospital hasn't caused any nipple confusion.

My Dad showing off our new room

 On the second day, they brought me a cot, which was great, so I finally had a bed. I began to feel organized, which is huge for me. I hate being unorganized!! My Mom came and we rearranged the room and figured out where everything should go, haha.  Everything is kind of a blur, but the babies did great. They were taking their feedings like champs (little porkers) and breathing like good little boys too. I had a shower both days in the little parents area, so that was nice to have. There was some 17 year old girl in pediatrics who was constantly arguing (quite the potty mouth!!) with the nurses too, because she wanted to go out for a smoke and her doctor wouldn't sign off on her leaving the ward. I'm not sure what she was in there for. Also, it was her birthday on the 17th, and she had soooo many people come for a get together. Didn't exactly love that many people in the ward, and I don't think the nurses did either. Okay, so lets see. Monday was when I came to the hospital, and that was the first (crappy) night. Tuesday I decided to cut the NG tubes to get them home (I don't think I could handle much longer staying in the hospital, I really wanted to get home) and Wednesday was more of the same. Both boys pulled their NG tubes on Wednesday morning, and luckily the nurses agreed that we didn't have to reinsert it. It's like they were saying 'we're breaking out of here tomorrow, no more nose tubes!!' It was Jamie and I's third wedding anniversary on the 17th, and I can't say we really did much. We knew at this point that the babies would likely be coming home the next day, so we were trying to focus on that. As of 9AM Thursday mornings, both babies would have done 48 hours of feeds by mouth. We did the car seat test on Wednesday night, and they both passed.

 

Mommy showing off my new cot!

Scott was proud of pulling his NG tube

Boys during their car seat test

 Things were getting down to the wire. From originally thinking that we had another couple weeks left before they came home, suddenly they were coming home SOON. We had sold our spare bedroom furniture a few weeks prior, and so everything from that room was piled up in the babies room, waiting for us to go to IKEA and get the new bed and dresser. My parents and I went to IKEA on Wednesday, and bought everything, which my parents took to our house for Jamie to build. He didn't exactly have time - he was working all day, eating dinner in a rush, and driving straight out to the hospital to be with us. But we really wanted at least that bed built, because we knew my Mom would likely be staying over for a while to help at night with the babies. Needless to say, things were a little crazy and rushed. So anyways - Thursday morning (July 18th) comes with all feeds taken by mouth. The Doctors come for one more look and then suddenly... We're free to go! What a weird feeling. After 25 days, we were allowed to bring our babies home. All of the wires were removed from their chests, the O2 sensors were taken off of their little feet, and suddenly they were just 'babies', not patients. Jamie came out that morning and we loaded up the truck with all of our stuff (I don't pack light) and then the boys were loaded into their car seats and off we went!

Happy family ready to head home!

 We got home around lunch time, and put the boys on a quilt on our rug. One of our neighbours came over to visit and it was a blissful time. When we went upstairs we realized just how crazy everything was. There were piles of laundry from all of the clothes the babies and I wore at the hospital, their room wasn't done, the junk from the spare bedroom was still scattered on the babies' floor, basically it was my worst nightmare. I figured we could just put the boys down for a nap and get everything cleaned up, but that wasn't the case. They decided that screaming was much more fun than sleeping. I was a stress-case. I hate being unorganized, and our house was a pigstye (no ones fault, we had just been SO busy!!!!), the babies were crying and I remember just thinking 'oh my god, this is our new life???' I also had gotten very little sleep during my 3 nights at the hospital, it wasn't exactly the comfiest bed in the world and constant beeping/ flashing lights doesn't make for a restful sleep. Eventually I fell asleep on the couch with both babies for an hour or so and Jamie was able to restore order in the home, yayyyyy. My Mom came over that night and she & I slept in the spare bedroom with the babies. I felt it was best if Jamie got a full nights sleep, so he could be awake the next day, which was a great idea. The first night wasn't great, but we weren't expecting it to be. The babies were up a lot of the night and really wanted to sleep on our chests most of the time.

Sorry, I know this has been my most random blog post ever. The babies have now been home 15 days, and it has been a blur. We've had great days and nights, and some crappy days and nights. I'm starting to get more comfortable with everything, and we're accepting that the best routine is to just go with the flow. I've made a point to get out of the house every day, and my Mom comes over almost every day during the week to go for a nice walk or to the mall. Jamie and I took the boys to Costco the day after they came home, and they've been pretty well traveled so far. I'm starting to find all of the best areas to nurse when out and about, which has been helpful. My only fear of going out all alone (which so far I've only done once) is both babies having a meltdown at once. It's easy if one baby is acting out, because usually I can just nurse him and that will settle him right down. But I'm not comfortable tandem feeding in public, that would take some talent I don't quite have yet!

Anyways, this is getting way too long, and it's taken me THREE days to write it, so I just want to finish it. I'm missing 1000 details, but I will try to update more often now. For now (because Scotty is waking up and crying!!!) I'm just going to add some pictures and get this bad boy posted! WHEW!!!

Adorable Adam dreaming about coming home 

Boys first picture at home!



First trip to Target

 

Meeting big sister, Holly!



Cuties in bed!

 

Me with my boys

 

Finally dressed as twins!

So proud of my boys!

The boys are doing soooo great! We officially have Scott off of the IV and into a cot! Scott's antibiotics were completed last night so this morning when I arrived at 11:30, he got to try on his first outfit! It was so fun dressing him, especially now that he doesn't have an IV attached to him! Adam is allowed to wear clothes, but because his IV is in his hand right now, it doesn't work very well. With the little onesies I have, it'll work with the IV in the head or foot, so next time it gets moved we'll try on an outfit for him too! The nurse said Scott is ready to move into a cot today (he's well over 1800 grams, and he's off the IV) so while he got held by my Mom (first time!) his old bed got taken away, and a new cot was brought in! So exciting! It's so different with a cot. They wear clothes, and then they are swaddled in a blankie, a towel, and then there is about 3-4 blankets on top of that. They keep them SUPER bundled up in there. And he has to wear a hat too, to keep the heat from escaping. It's funny though - I'm so excited for him because it's a big step, but the isolette seems way comfier. In the isolette, the babies get to stretch out, kick out their legs and arms, get time on their sides or tummies - plus it's 32 degrees in there! There is also a quilt hung over the top, so the light can be blocked out, and I think it must be a little bit more soundproof. In the cot, it seems like they just have to lie on their backs, completely bundled up. What if he has an itch? I feel bad for his little arms and legs being so trapped. But I guess it's good - it encourages a deep sleep, which is what preemies need to grow! His temperature was on the lower end during the 9PM feed tonight, so if it doesn't start to go up, he might need to go back to his isolette for a few days. When Adam is off of his antibiotics (Sunday!) they will get moved to a twin crib together. It'll be awesome, and they can keep each other warm! I'm sure they miss each other so much! Can't wait for them to reunite... I'm hoping Scott can stay in his cot until then, but I'm not 100% expecting it to last all that long, just temperature wise! Although I just got off the phone with the nurse, and his temperature for the midnight feeding was 36.5, acceptable! So happy!

Okay, so what else has been new? I'm not sure if the second blood culture had been drawn when I did my last blog post, but Adam came back with the bacteria still in his blood 48 hours after starting the antibiotics. They upped the dose a little bit, and drew another culture in 48 hours, which came back totally clean! YAYYY! So he'll be done on Sunday (not sure of the exact time) and finally I will have both boys free from the antibiotics/ IVs! That will be a huge day for us!

The boys are also learning to breastfeed! From about a week old, I would pump and then let them latch on occasionally to start learning how things work. They didn't really figure it out much at first, and kind of just held my nipple without doing a whole lot of coordinated sucking, but now they are developing their reflexes and they are pros! I'm finally able to breastfeed them without pumping first - it's not just for practice anymore. So this morning, we started off by weighing Adam, and then putting him on the breast. He went for about 15 minutes before he started to fall asleep and then he was weighed again. He had gained 25 grams, which roughly equates to 25ml (a full feed for him is 38ml). The nurse didn't trust the scale though, because that's a pretty big amount for his first time, so she still gave him his full feed. Before his next feed, he still had a lot of milk in his tummy, so she said that she probably underestimated him, and that he likely did take in quite a bit of milk! I tried with Scott for the 3PM feed (although I had just pumped about an hour prior) and I thought he was doing it perfect, but his weight didn't change after he was done, so he was fed his full 34ml through his NG tube. When I came back with Jamie for the 9PM feed, I tried with Scott again. I hadn't pumped in a few hours, and he latched on great. After he started to get tired, we weighed him and he gained 20 grams!! So instead of taking 34 by NG, he only had to take 14! So proud of both of my little guys.

I'm getting nervous about actually doing it all though. RCH is very pro breastfeeding which I love, and I'm the same way. But it's going to be tough to do it in the NICU with 2 babies. Because they both need to be 'test-weighed' for each feed, it'll be hard to do both babies at once. I don't know if I'll keep alternating feeds and only doing one baby per feed, or if one baby will just have to wait a little while and they can both try during one feed. Maybe I should start learning to tandem nurse them now ;) Once they are completely established in breastfeeding, we can start adding bottles too, which will be helpful! That way Jamie can help a bit too. I know I will be spending much more time at the hospital though as we get closer to bringing them home. Not that I'm not spending a lot of time there right now though, haha. One nurse was mentioning that they may be able to be moved upstairs to pediatrics once Adam is off his IV and that I could possibly get a private room and stay with them for the last few days they are there. That would be amazing!

What else? I'm just feeling pretty great about everything. I still miss them so much, and can't wait to have them home, but I feel like things are finally happening! The last week was a little bit of a stalemate, and it's great to get the ball rolling. Feeding on their own is the main challenge for right now, so bring it on. I'm also trying to stay prepared for things to not go as planned, because I know everything can go backwards pretty quickly. But I just need to focus on the positive and hope for the best. I was there this afternoon when the Dr. was making her rounds (The Dr visits each baby every day to discuss goals/ treatment changes/ progress etc) and she made my day! I was listening in and it was while I was breastfeeding Scott and before she left she said to the team she does the rounds with: "This Mom is amazing! She is always here, she has tons of breastmilk, and she is so positive, involved and motivated!" I honestly almost cried, haha. It's nice to know that for a difficult situation, I am doing things 'right'. Although there is no right or wrong way to do it. I can't imagine handling all of this if I had other kids or something. I'm also really lucky though, I've been able to keep up with pumping enough milk for both of them, and I have over 100 oz stored in my freezer at home already (Jamie and I added it all up tonight, haha). I'm just so happy that there is something I can do when I can't be there, because they are on my mind 24/7.

Tomorrow is Scott's first bath without the IV, so it's his first bath that I get to do on my own! I am SO excited!!! Can't wait to do the same with Adam. I can't believe it's been 17 days already.... Time has flown by. I have a parking pass until the 24th... This is way getting ahead of myself, but MAYBE they'll be home by then? I'm aiming for August 1st, but who knows. The boys are smart cookies, maybe - just maybe- they can beat Mommy's goals!

Oh! Something diabetes related - My A1C drawn this week is 5.7 :) Perfect! Still running low since delivery, time to start dropping my basal rates...

Photo time, there's lots! :)

Jamie holding both boys! They got to meet again briefly!

Like father, like son! Adam is Daddy's twin!

My little Scott

Scott and I snuggling

Scott before his bath the other day! Diaper covering the IV!

Milk drunk Adam

Adam giving us a baby face-palm!

Sweet Adam sleeping on Daddy

Me holding Scott after putting on his first outfit!

Scotty in his new cot!

Adam looks like a biker with his new haircut!

NICU life... So far!

So we are on day 13 in the NICU! I have a terrible memory and I'm sure I'm not quite right on all of the terms, so this won't be as accurate as I'd like it to be, but let's try to recap what has been going on!

The day the boys were born, they were both brought straight into the NICU. They were both hooked up to IV's (which gives them fluids like electrolytes, vitamins, amino acids, fat etc),  oxygen saturation sensors, and HR/ breathing rate monitors. Scott was also hooked up to the CPAP at first, which just helped keep his lungs open. It doesn't actually provide any oxygen, it's just a little bit of help breathing. He was only on it for about a day and a half though. We were told that the boys would be on the IV's until they reach 'full feeds'. They calculate the full feed amount based off of their birth weights. They started off primarily on the TPN (IV fluids) and slowly, day by day they increased the amount of breast milk they took in (through a nose tube) and decreased the amount of TPN they received. I think we started off at like 5ml of milk, and every 6 hours it would be increased by 1cc until we reached the full feeds of 34ml for Adam and 33ml for Scott. We were thinking both boys would be off the IV's around Tuesday the 2nd based off of the calculations. We were super excited about that, because both of the boys are 'hard IV starts' meaning it usually takes several attempts to get one secured, and way too many pokes for my little guys. I absolutely hate the IV!!! Sometimes it seems like it's moved 3 times a day :(

Jamie holding Scott

Me holding Adam

The first few days were pretty chaotic, but also pretty stable. We did a lot of baby cuddles, and the boys slowly started gaining weight again. They dropped below their birth weight pretty soon after coming out, and day by day they grew a little bit at a time. Things were pretty uneventful (aside from Adam needing an IV in his head, my little unicorn! He now has a great old man haircut) until one night (June 29th) when Jamie and I walked in for the 9PM feed. We arrived at 8:30 to see Scott surrounded by nurses, the Dr, and the respiratory therapist. I had left the hospital earlier that day at 2PM and he was totally normal. Over the next few hours I guess he had gotten very lethargic, and his HR was around 200, without him even moving. I later learned that he was also having 'bradys' which is basically where the babies stop breathing, their oxygen saturation levels drop, and the heart rate drops below 100. Sometimes babies come back from it on their own (Level 0 intervention) and sometimes they need to be stimulated (by flicking their feet, rubbing their chests) in order to bring the HR back up (Level 1 intervention). Luckily he didn't need to go past a level 1, and need oxygen. He was put back on the CPAP just to help keep his lungs open so that his body didn't have to work so hard. They ran a lot of bloodwork and did a chest X-ray. It was a really rough night. I started bawling 5 minutes after walking in. A nurse came up and she said that we had discussed this prior (must have been when I was still pretty drugged up, I don't remember the conversation) and that it's very common for babies in the NICU to come down with infections/ little sicknesses. The Dr was mentioning things like 'lumbar probes' etc too. It was a crazy night. I remember holding Adam and shaking so hard watching Scott get his chest X-rayed, but trying to hold it together to not stress out Adam. They started him on antibiotics right away, and said we'd get more information in the next day or so.  I cried all the way home, and it was the worst night ever. I couldn't get anything from pumping, I was way too stressed out. I called every couple hours and around 4AM the nurse said he seemed to be improving. His HR was starting to come back down a little bit, and he was starting to wake up. We were glad to hear that because the night prior, he looked awful. He was completely white, had the CPAP on his face, and wasn't moving a muscle yet his HR was over 200. It looked like he shrunk 2 lbs in less than 8 hours. They decided to hold his feeds, and just do TPN only, no milk at all. They also added a third bag of just sugar water to his IV.



Scott before he got sick

My sweet sick boy Scott getting cuddles

The next morning we got there and learned that the chest X-ray was clear, and that we didn't know what it was yet, but that the antibiotics seemed to be helping. The Dr came by again and mentioned doing the lumbar probe (taking fluid from the spine to check for meningitis) but that we'd wait for the bloodwork to come back. Later that day, we learned that he had a staph infection. Basically bacteria was growing in his blood. It can be introduced from IV pokes etc, and preemies just have such weak immune systems that they get sick sooo easily.  It's actually not as scary as we were expecting and he was looking much better. He was on CPAP for about an extra day, and the next morning they took him off of it. They re-ran his bloodwork after 48 hours on the antibiotics and it came back clean 48 hours after that which means he needs only 7 days of antibiotics from when the first repeat culture was drawn. He should be done in 3 days. He was off of his feedings for about 1.5 days, and so he was dropped from about 24ml to 10ml.



Scott - on the mend and feeling better!!

While this was all happening, the same thing happened to Adam shortly after. The nurse noticed he was extremely lethargic, high HR (although not as high as Scott's was) the whole nine yards. We half expected this to happen, so we were glad they started the antibiotics right away. Adam's blood culture came back with a positive for a staph infection as well, like we were expecting. It took him a little while longer to get better with the antibiotics and he continued having the Brady episodes the first day, which was pretty scary. The nurse said usually they start to really turn around after the third round of antibiotics and that was the case for him. I felt awful for him though, he just looked so SICK. He's normally so bright eyed, always looking around and making faces, but he just had this pained expression. Broke my heart. They ran the repeat bloodwork 48 hours after the positive culture and unfortunately his came back positive again. He is acting great, and looking great, but I guess it wasn't high enough of a dose to kick the infection first try. They are running a repeat culture tomorrow morning and as long as that's clear (we'll know after 48 hours) he should be off of the IV on July 14th. I have every single finger and toe crossed. I'm thinking he'll have to have another one go in his head, which I'm fine with. He seemed pretty comfy with it up there actually. REALLY hoping his blood draw tomorrow is negative though, ahhh! He also had his feedings suspended for a little bit, but he's resumed as well. They are both increasing much faster now, 2ml every 6 hours. They'll both be up to full feeds in no time! Granted their new 'full feed' amounts are higher than they were before, but that's a good thing. The Dr today said they're gaining weight perfectly and chunking up nicely. They both have super long legs (not as wrinkly anymore either) and adorable double chins!

My little unicorn Adam having a bath before getting sick

Breaks my heart- my poor little sick guy Adam

Adam is feeling much better with antibiotics!

The NICU is pretty scheduled. They feed the babies at 12, 3, 6, and 9. They start about half an hour early with taking the babies temperatures, and changing diapers. If Jamie or I are there, we do that part. We are going to be PROS at changing diapers once we have them home. We've pretty much mastered doing it with IV's, tubes, sticky things all over their chests, oxygen sensors... you name it. For the feedings... If I'm there, I'll take out one baby and cuddle with it, while holding the syringe filled with milk with one hand. The other baby will have the feeding hung over him in his incubator. It's best if Jamie and I are both there so that we can both 'feed' the babies. It goes straight into their tummies through the nose tubes, pretty neat actually. I think the nose tubes (NG) stay in pretty close to discharge, I know the nurses often feed them that way. In a week or so, I will be spending much more time there as the babies learn to breast feed. I'm already there QUITE a bit, but I will try to spend pretty much all day, to hopefully get them home sooner!

Overall, the NICU itself isn't that awful. I hate the constant blood work and pokes, and there is always a fear that something will go wrong. I always let all of the nurses know to call me ANYTIME something changes at all, I want to know instantly. I'm still worried that they'll forget to though. I wish I could be there 24/7 to cuddle with the boys, they seem sooo happy when they're snuggled up to Jamie or I. And I just can't wait for them to be together! They must be missing each other so much.

So let's see. Scott should be off the IV in a few days, Adam in 8 days. Both boys are very close to their 'full feed' amounts (although they will withhold Adam's by 1ml to keep something in the IV to keep the vein open (which will also be easier on his poor little arms and legs) and pretty soon both boys should be able to start breast/bottle feeding! After they're both off IV's, they can move into the twin crib, and out of the incubator! Can't wait :) That's a pretty big milestone... I think after that, they just need to be able to stay warm on their own, tolerate all of their feeds on their own, keep gaining weight, and not have any 'episodes' on the monitors for at least a week. It seems so far away, but maybe once we get over this whole 'infection' hiccup (which I think threw us back about a week or so) we should start to really see some progress. I hear different things about when they can come home. Sometimes I hear '36 weeks gestation', and other times 'your original due date', which would be August 15th. I'm thinking (and hoping) it will be somewhere in between, and am aiming for sometime in July. That would be amazing. I can handle that!!!

Now I think I'm caught up (although I know I've missed so much, it's been such a blur!!!) and it should be easier to update on a more regular basis. As far as the boys current weights - Adam was born at 1790 grams (3 lbs, 15 oz) and he now weighs (as of last night) 1960 grams (4 lbs, 5 oz). Scott was born at 1620 grams (3 lbs, 9 oz) and now weighs 1835 grams (4 lbs, 1 oz). My little porkers! This was as of last night too, so I'm sure they've gained weight today!

Adam getting weighed about a week ago

Scott getting weighed about a week ago