uuuugggghhhh!

Short update today, just on the frustration of diabetes and pregnancy! I've had some great days so far, where everything is all fine and near perfect and then there are evenings like tonight.... Where my after dinner tests (without eating anything else) have gone from 8.8 (158) 1 hour post meal; no need to correct, still have lots of iob on board... An hour later we're up to 10.4 (187) where I can correct a little at this time.... And 1.5 hours after that, I'm at fricken 15.9 (286)!!! Whyyyyy!!! So frustrating. I haven't had a problem with this infusion set since putting it in today, but now I know I'll be up late making sure that my blood starts to finally come down. So so so annoying. Anyone want to borrow my T1D until August when the babies are here? I will gladly take it back at that point, but am really sick of it when it could potentially effect my twins!

On a happier note, I am starting to pop, and I love it! Hoping to feel them start to move in the next few weeks... Bigger update coming later :)

But seriously diabetes, pull it together. Stop being such an asshole! You were sooo nice all weekend!

So far so good...

Another week has come and gone! Things are just awesome. Unfortunately, after my last post, morning sickness DID choose to return. I've had a few bad days, but a couple good ones in there too. Hey, at least I'm getting an ab workout through all of this with the constant dry heaving :) Okay, so what happened over the last week? Well, diabetes wise, things are pretty good. My average for the past 7 days is 5.4 (97), and my most recent A1C was 5.6%!!!! I'm pretty happy with that. I've still been having a ton of lows, but it seems like those are almost unavoidable at this point. I'm starting to cut down on the after meal highs, which is comforting. Some lows are hitting me worse than they normally do though. I had my OB appt last Friday and as I was walking out I was thinking 'did I sound kind of stupid while in that appt?' and as we got towards the truck I stumbled into a little garden and that was a pretty big clue that Momma needed some sugar. I popped a candy in my mouth and we went to a thriftys which was about a 45 second walk away. It's funny how HARD it is walking while low. We grabbed a grapefruit juice and I was nice and sweaty while waiting to pay for it. Gotta love when lows come with clammy, sweatyness. Ew. I started chugging it as we walked back to the truck and by the time we got in and I tested (after downing almost half the bottle) I was 1.6 (29)! I have to say, I am sick of dropping into the 1's so easily now!! It was one of the lows where I came up fairly well, but still FELT low at least an hour later, boo. I have my next appt with the diabetes clinic tomorrow, where I'm sure we'll be cutting everything back once again!



How cute are they???

Last week was also our NT scan at the hospital which was amazinggggg. My Mom was able to come too, and we were expecting her to have to sit in the waiting room and maybe come in for a peek at the end, but luckily we had a big room and she was able to come in with us for the entire thing. They had a screen for us to look at the entire time and it was amazing to see both babies squirming around like crazy. She had a starting shot of both of them where the membrane showed up instantly, yay!!! I think we have an official 'mono-di' diagnosis! I'm pretty happy with that. It would be great if they were di-di and had separate placentas, but this is much much better than what I was emotionally trying to not have to prepare myself for. They were lying sideways in my uterus, one on top of each other. She described them as being in little bunk beds, awww! NT measurements looked great, and they both have little nasal bones as well. Everything seems to be going great. They're both measuring the exact same date, another good sign. A was a little sleepier, but B was moving like crazy in there! Kicking, rolling, squirming, elbowing, yawning - pretty amazing to see. Probably because it's not the one on the bottom bunk, haha. Overall we were in there for close to an hour, it was awesome.

On Friday at the OB appt, we didn't really do too much. Confirmed that the first part of my bloodwork for genetic screening looks good, but we really need to tie it with more bloodwork in a few more weeks before we have any 'real' results. He used his little ultrasound machine again and one was sleeping, the other one was sitting up so we could see a face profile shot. I guess they still have a fair bit of room to move around in there! My uterus is measuring about a month ahead, so the top of it is about an inch below my belly button. I found the HB's with the doppler again this weekend, and they are still so LOW in my tummy. I'm sure they'll be moving up soon though. So what's up next? I have my diabetes appt's likely every 2 weeks as we've been doing so far - I see the OB next in 2 weeks - I think he wants to start checking my cervix at appts to make sure that all looks okay. After that I have a growth scan in early March and we will start doing bi-weekly ultrasounds to make sure no-one is taking too many nutrients. Hopefully we can 100% avoid TTTS. At this ultrasound in March we should be able to find out genders!!! AHHH! Less than a month and we will know! I seriously don't think I'll sleep a wink the night before that ultrasound. At 20 weeks, we do a detailed heart scan to make sure everything is looking good in there.... And then we'll be half way done. Holy crap, I swear it feels like I'm going to wake up tomorrow and have two babies already. Time is going by soooo fast! Okay, quick video and survey time!

 

How far along? 13 weeks, 4 days
Total weight gain: No change this week.
Maternity Clothes? I really need to start shopping for those... Clothes are getting kind of uncomfy and I don't think I can show up at work in the jammies I tend to wear all weekend!
Stretch Marks? Nada! I really need to start bio-oiling it up though. I just hate feeling greasy!
Sleep: Ahhh... Starting to get a little uncomfortable, already. I woke up on my stomach at about 5AM the other day and it didn't feel too great. The constant peeing in the middle of the night is fun too of course. I think it's time to get a body pillow!
Miss anything? Ah the usual I guess. Not really too much though, haha.
Movement: Still nothing, although I'm hoping I'm one of those lucky ones who can start feeling the babies early! I know I have a posterior placenta so that should help at least a little. Hopefully in the next few weeks I'll start feeling a little something.
Food cravings: Strawberries and nectarines this week. Soooo excited for summer fruits though, blueberries and raspberries and peaches etc. Yummy! For 'bad' cravings,I think I could have eaten 100 pizza minis last night, now that was a craving!
Anything making you queasy or sick? Nothing in particular, although I've had my sick days over the past week!
Gender: At the ultrasound I kept saying 'look, HE'S kicking' and Jamie was convinced he saw a 'twig and berries' (lol) but I have this super naggy feeling of girls still, which I've had since the day we found out they were twins. AKA I have noooo idea. Pretty excited to know though.
Labour signs: Nothing!
Symptoms: Pukey, headachey, and tired. I think my brain isn't quite working like it used to either.
Bellybutton in or out? In still, but you can see my bellybutton ring through all of my shirts now.
Wedding rings on or off? On, and I'll get them sized up a little if need be in the future :)
Happy or moody most of the time? I'd say happy!
Looking forward to: I look forward to all of my appts, although the diabetes ones are a little boring. At this point I would say the next 'big' thing is either feeling early kicks, or the ultrasound in early March.

There is a bump starting for sure :)

 

12 weeks!

Hurray I made it to 12 weeks! Morning sickness is really easing up and life is getting a whole lot easier now. My energy is getting a little bit better, and I don't feel like a zombie anymore, yay. I don't feel like I really have much to write this week... So let's reflect on how my bloods been doing. Overall - MUCH BETTER. I had a few instances on my last post where I was having trouble getting down my numbers post meal, and I don't know exactly change worked, but I find I am rarely over 10 one hour post meal, and always down to around 7 an hour after that. Huge improvement from before. I mean of course, it's not perfect - Friday after dinner was frustrating, but nothing like the 4-5 hours it took the weekend before. I'm still having my morning lows, but not every single day like before, so I'll take that. Still wishing we could get a great CGMS in Canada, but I know tons of women have been pregnant with diabetes before the days of CGMS, I can do it too. Who knows, maybe it'll just happen sooner than expected, that would be amazing.

I'm playing it pretty safe with site changes; I did one yesterday that felt a little more painful than normal, and noticed it had bled just a little bit which I could see through the plastic. I'm sure it would have been fine and likely just hit a capillary, but I pulled it just in case. Last thing I need is a kinked cannula. Last time that happened, I ended up with a blood sugar in the 20's - no thanks!

Lets see, what else is new and exciting? I'm sooo excited for our ultrasound on Wednesday and actually had my reminder call for it this morning. Can't wait for 'low risk' and 'membrane'! Thinking positive positive thoughts right now! Also, someone was nice enough to lend me her fetal doppler and after a little bit of frustration, I think I've finally found both heart beats!! At first I kept getting something at 75 bpm (which isn't baby) and every little bit, I could catch something at around 160 bpm for 5 seconds or so. I tried again after dinner and for some reason was trying to find a heartbeat about an inch below my belly button which is wayyyy too high. I eventually found a HB at 156 bpm... and when I moved about an inch to the right, I lose it.... and then I find another HB at about 169 about another inch over. That sounds like two healthy little heart beats to me!! Sooo amazing to hear. <3

Jamie and I are going to start clearing out the baby room in the next while (when is a good time to do that???) and so Jamie's started the process by installing new shelving in the basement closet so we can start transferring stuff downstairs. Right now in their room, we have: A TV, TV stand, luggage, a storage ottoman, a fan, our air conditioner, pillows, a smallish storage unit and our wrapping paper supply. So there's really not too much that we need to move, luckily. I think we're going to use the bedroom at the back of the house - I would still rather use the middle bedroom, but I think the back bedroom is probably a better size for two babies, so Jamie will likely win this one! I'm pretty excited to start shopping for cribs and all of that fun stuff too! Anyways, I should get to bed soon, can't believe it's Monday tomorrow already! Weekend, you don't last long enough :(

How far along? 12 weeks, 4 days
Total weight gain: I think I've actually put on about a pound this week!
Maternity Clothes? None this weekend - I want to get some maternity jeans, they are probably super comfy.
Stretch Marks? None, yet... Hoping it will stay that way.
Sleep: Still sleeping pretty good, aside from a snoring hubby the other night! I wake up with dry mouth though, which sucks.
Miss anything? We went to Moxie's on Friday and yes, I would have lovedddddd a raspberry kiwi margarita or a GT. Oh well.
Movement: Still nothing, too early.
Food cravings: Jamie was amazing and got me a cupcake twice this past week, haha. I'd say that's been my craving!
Anything making you queasy or sick? This week was much better - although I threw up this morning after taking my prenatal on an empty stomach, ouch.
Gender: My thoughts change every single day, today my guess is girls. But I really have nooooo clue.
Labour signs: Nothing, yet. That would be a problem and a half.
Symptoms: Still pretty sleepy mostly. And headaches have started kicking in.
Bellybutton in or out? In, totally.... Although my bellybutton ring feels like it's getting pushed out a TINY bit, if that makes sense.
Wedding rings on or off? Still on, no swellage yet!
Happy or moody most of the time? Happy, I haven't been very moody at all, at least I don't think so.
Looking forward to:Ultrasound on Wednesday!!!


Feeling huge at 12 weeks!!

11 weeks along!

Well, today I am 11 weeks, 2 days pregnant. So far things have been pretty good, minus the continuous morning sickness! Jamie and I went on a cruise with both sets of parents last week, and the babies were very nice to me, the entire time... I started throwing up again literally as we were wheeling our luggage out of our cabin, and it continued at the airport heading home. Those babies really wanted to stay on vacation, I understand the feeling :)

Diabetes wise, it's been a little bit of a challenge. I've been having a huge problem with lows in the morning, where I literally probably went a month without being able to wake up above 3. I've hacked back my overnight basals significantly and today I woke up at 9AM to a 5.7, yayyyyy!!! Things aren't going the same way post meal any more though... A few times over the past week, my bloods gone up to above 12 1 hour post meal, where my pump doesn't want to correct due to iob. An hour later, it's creeped up to 13, and my pump will let me correct a little bit, and an hour later it's either the same or even up to 14!! I know the occasional high is okay during pregnancy, as long as it's brought down quickly, but I feel AWFUL running in the teens for hours at a time, ugh. I'm trying so hard to be diligent, but sometimes it's just not working. It's scary cause I'm not even in to my second trimester where the real insulin resistance will be kicking in. My A1C was 5.7 a couple weeks ago, so things are looking good so far, but I just constantly feel guilty when my blood isn't good. I have my next diabetes appt next Tuesday, can't wait. I think in the second trimester, I'm going to be on a very lowwwww carb diet, sadly enough. I'm jealous of pregnant women who can just be pregnant, and not have to deal with diabetes on top of that. I don't want to be a debbie downer, but it's just a huge added level of responsibility on top of everything else, and I hope I can do it properly, ahhhh. WE NEED A GOOD CGM SYSTEM IN CANADA!!!! I would do terrible things for a dexcom right now. I'm tempted to get a prescription in the States and buy one down there, but I know as soon as I do that, it will be out in Canada.

Anyways, I'll end this with a weekly pregnancy survey I found, and hopefully that will inspire me to blog every week! And eventually maybe I'll actually start sharing this publicly... Maybe :)

How far along? 11 weeks, 2 days
Total weight gain: So far, down about 8-10 lbs, depending on the time of day. Morning sickness has been a bitch!!
Maternity Clothes? Actually, yes! I wore a maternity skirt to dinner tonight, it was comfy! That's the only thing I've bought so far though.
Stretch Marks? None, yet... Hoping it will stay that way.
Sleep: Frequent, and great. I am loving the fact that my insomnia is long gone with pregnancy. I know I won't be sleeping too well in a few months, so I'm trying to enjoy it as much as I can now.
Miss anything? Haha, booze? I've been too sick to really crave alcohol, but I do miss the life Jamie and I had. I know life with the babies will be awesome in it's own way, but it's sad to leave the life we once had behind in the dust. And I miss not being responsible for 2 babies in my body, and that everything I do effects them 100%. It's a lot of pressure.
Movement: Nothing yet, wishing the weeks would fly by so I can start feeling something, can't wait :)
Food cravings: Nothing major - it was sour candies a couple of weeks ago, and today I wanted a cupcake, but settled for a pear and carrots instead, haha. The cupcake place closed at 7PM :(
Anything making you queasy or sick? Anything and everything! The past two days I've thrown up in the passenger seat of Jamie's truck, which has been loads of fun. Overall though, I think I'm on the mend as far as morning sickness goes.
Gender: No idea yet, I'm over the moon at the idea of either boys OR girls. I can't wait to find out though.
Labour signs: Nothing, yet. That would be a problem and a half.
Symptoms: Tiredness mainly, and morning sickness. Other than that, maybe sore boobs?
Bellybutton in or out? In, totally.
Wedding rings on or off? On, my fingers have actually shrunk if anything. I'm thinking that's cause of the cold weather though.
Happy or moody most of the time? I've been in a pretty decent mood, not really too moody at all!
Looking forward to: My next ultrasound on February 6th!!! I can't wait to see them again. It's for the NT screening, and I am just hoping like crazy that everything is 100% normal, I know it will be though.

Me and the babies <3

TWINS!!!!

Wow, and how times change.... So after my last post, Jamie and I took another trip to Vegas (which was amazing) and we had actually just thought that we would 'stop' trying for a couple months and just enjoy the holidays and the cruise (which we're going on next week!) ** Holy crap, I just realized how LONG this post is going to be, sorry!!!**

Well, life had a different plan for us. I had an obgyn appt on November 26th and he had his locum (I think that's the right word) try to do a hysteroscope on me to just double check and make sure my uterus looked normal etc. She didn't actually end up getting in (from what I understood) but he took a sample for a biopsy. When he was finished I realized that I was on CD 20 and said 'so I guess if I WAS pregnant, I'm likely not anymore...?' He said that if there was anything, it would likely still be in my fallopian tube, but yes - not a great idea to do that in the second half of your cycle. I wasn't too worried, because I didn't think there was a chance of anything happening anyways, and I was glad that we were just taking steps to make sure that there wasn't anything wrong with me. I  consulted Dr. Google when I got home and yep - everything said to only do it prior to ovulation, so I had completely written off that month. The next Monday, Jamie and I went out to get a Christmas Tree and when we got home, I was just strictly BORED so I decided to take a pregnancy test. I had been obsessed with peeing on sticks in previous months and we had stock piled some tests from last time we were down in the states (so much cheaper down there) so why not. My period wasn't due for a couple days, but again - I was bored. Well.... instantly I saw what looked like a 'blank line' if that makes sense and then very quickly..... a very very bright pink positive!

So after I called my Mom (who had just landed in California) bawling my eyes out, I e-mailed my awesome endo and shared the news with her. She had been a key part of the 'process' and I was excited to let her know! The next day I had my first blood test. I had my hcg levels tested... 5 times I think, and I noticed that when I was supposed to be 5 weeks, my levels were in the 6 week range. I knew that it's common for the range to be veryyy broad, so I didn't really think too much of it, but I did e-mail my endo a week before my U/S and said 'my hcg levels seem high - I think there's two in there!!'. She (rightly) told me to stop googling, haha!! Everything seemed great, and morning sickness started kicking my ass pretty bad right around 5.5 weeks, but nothing crazy or anything.

Little baby 'A' & 'B'!

 I had my ultrasound scheduled for December 28th and I was glad it was on a Friday before I had a 4 day weekend, I was so worried that somehow something was wrong and that there wouldn't be anything in my uterus - again, I had been reading way too many scary stories. I started chugging my water at the right time, and promptly threw up most of the 4 cups I was supposed to drink, always fun! Luckily I was able to keep sipping throughout the drive, and when I got in, the tech was able to get a good look right away. He was probing around and I instantly saw a little heart beating in there (so cool by the way!!) I thought I'd be funny and so I said 'There's only one in there, right? heh heh'. He instantly said 'Ah, I'm not confident about that yet...' continued moving the little wand thing around 'nope! you have two little people growing in you!' At that point he said it would be best to have a female come in and do a transvaginal ultrasound with a female tech and I had to empty my bladder. He told me not to tell Jamie yet (who was waiting to come in about 20 feet away) just to make sure first. He led me to the main bathrooms, which were in use, and he had to bring me to one directly in front of where Jamie was sitting. I have the WORST poker face in the world and just held up two fingers and said 'TWO!!!' I went to pee and started crying instantly. I don't know if it was shock, nerves, hormones, fear.... either way it was an emotional moment, haha! I went back in and the tech started searching around and then she went and got Jamie to show him as well. There are very few things I actually remember from the Ultrasound. I heard 'identical', 'membrane', 'two yolk sacs', 'they look perfectly normal', and that one was 1.03 cm, and the other was 1.06 cm, which is a great sign that they're measuring so close in size. We also saw both heart beats, but didn't get the BPM or anything. The Ultrasound finished up, and we went to sit down while they printed us a picture and double checked everything. Of course we couldn't wait to tell family, and we were just completely brain dead in shock about it all. I barely heard a word the original tech said although I heard something about 'they're sharing an apartment, we hope they have separate fridges'. I thought there were identical and fraternal twins, but that it didn't make any difference during the pregnancy. The tech did mention that identical was higher risk, and when I said that I hoped they were boy/girl he very quickly shot down that idea as they are identical!

Jamie and I left in a daze, photo in hand, and headed home - where I instantly started googling.... Let me just say that was a terrible idea. I instantly came across a lot of information on 'mo/mo' twins, which is where the babies are sharing a placenta (apartment) and amniotic sac (fridge). Because the tech had made it pretty clear that he didn't see a membrane between them, I instantly assumed they are mo/mo and could only envision 50/50 chances of making it to viability, hospital bedrest at 24 weeks, and umbilical cords tangled up to the size of a softball. As I continued my research (of course I couldn't actually talk to my obgyn as he's closed over the holidays) I found some reassuring information. Couple things; mo/mo twins are VERY rare, like 1 in 50,000 chances. Yes I bought a lottery ticket this week, why not. Also, two yolk sacs usually mean two amniotic sacs. Not always, but usually. I'll take that. They are also attached on opposite sides of my uterus, so there is lots of room for a membrane between them. Many women are misdiagnosed as mo/mo and the membrane isn't found until 10-14 weeks. The odds are in our favour that they DO have a membrane, so until I hear otherwise, those little guys have some separation between them.

Now because the main point of this blog is about my diabetes, I'll talk (briefly for now) about that. Days prior to finding out, and for 2 or 3 days afterwards, my blood was running really really high. My blood is typically high through the second half of my cycle, and until I found out, I didn't think too much of it. I ran with a +10% basal for a few days, and since then, I've had the opposite problem. I have cut down my basals significantly, and I am still experiencing a lot of lows, especially at night. I can go to bed at 7.6 with no insulin on board (iob) and even with my basals cut down pretty aggressively I am still waking up at 4AM needing a juice box every night. I'm thinking I'm going to have to just start waking up at 3AM for a snack to avoid this! If I don't wake up at 4AM, I am waking up at 7:30 in the 2's, very frustrating. None of my lows have been 'bad', and I know that I will be experiencing some extreme insulin resistance in a few short months, so I am happy to deal with this (and enjoy some extra juice boxes and snacks) for now. This is going to be a challenge unlike any other I've had, and I am ready to take it on. All I can do is test frequently, keep up with my Dr's appt's, which are frequent and just do the best job I can.

So to summarize this insanely long post.... I am excited, nervous, terrified, overwhelmed and a million other emotions. It's funny how it is all switching over to just extreme awe now. I never knew I could be so ATTACHED to two little balls of cells in my uterus, the size of raspberries. I even look at the ultrasound pic and think that baby a is more like me as a child - very outgoing and 'out there' - at least in the picture, and baby b is more like little Jamie. It was quietly cuddled up against the placenta during the ultrasound. I think they are the cutest things in the world and can't wait to know if they are boys or girls. I originally thought boys, but now my guesses change every 5 minutes. 2013 should be an AMAZING year, bring it on!!!

Little cuties, safe in my tum!

Still Nothing!

Short update today - still nothing to share!

And this website won't show the picture I had on here, booo. I'll have to figure out a way to put it back on!

Jamie and I are headed off to Vegas in less than 2 weeks, can't wait!

Hopefully we'll have some actual news to post on here one of these years, this is getting annoying!

Back at it

Kilimanjaro in the background!

I have officially summitted Mount Kilimanjaro for the second time. This Kili trek was the HARDEST thing I have ever done. My Mom told me that summit night was harder than being in labour and giving birth (she delivered me and my brother both through natural unmedicated labours) so I'm looking forward to the next step of my life. I am planning on doing a whole blog post about the entire adventure, but it will take me a long time to write. The experience was just simply amazing. You can't even begin to imagine how gorgeous the scenery is; how amazing it is to wake up one morning to trek up and over a rock wall that had been intimidating you all night, and to finally make it all the way to the top. It is truly beyond words, but I will try one day to write something and add more photos etc. I'm still starting my photo book - I printed off all of my photos, but printed photos just aren't as exciting as the new books you can make, I'll get there!

Anyways, since I've been back, life has been going well. Jamie and I are back in the swing of trying to make things happen, and even though I say I am 'just going to let it happen' it is so difficult. I don't know how to not obsess over every single 'symptom' in the second half of your cycle. I've tried, believe me. We're going to give it another couple of months and then maybe start looking at getting some testing done. I'm sure everythings fine, but it's frustrating for sure. I always expected we'd throw away the condoms, ditch the birth control and BAM be pregnant. I wish it was that simple, but it just isn't. I can't wait until I can use this blog to talk about managing my diabetes through pregnancy, instead of just talking about the future. I know we'll get there soon though, so I'm staying positive! We've put off TTC for a few things in the past year, and I have to say I'm glad we did during those times. I wouldn't wake up with perfect vision (thank you laser eye surgery) and have enough memories to last a lifetime from the Kili trek if we didn't take a break.

Diabetes wise.... I have been slipping a little bit. After 3 years of writing down all of my blood sugars, I have stopped logging everything and even though I say I will download my meter and pump every week, that hasn't been happening. I need to get that back on track for sure. I think I went so hard trying to prepare the other times we've been TTC that when we took some time off I just let it all go. I'm not saying anything is BAD, I need to do a new A1C but I think it will still be pretty good. I just don't obsess the way I have in the past. I don't always test exactly an hour after a meal, I don't wake up at 2AM to see what's going on in the middle of the night. I'm sure that will all change as soon as I see 2 lines on a pregnancy test, I think I need to get out of the mindframe of thinking 'it's never going to happen' that I occasionally fall into and keep the good thoughts coming.

I'll update again soon - hopefully with good news! I'm just way to impatient for this stuff, I swear! I'll finish this with a photo of my Mom & I at the top of Kilimanjaro. I was SO out of it during this photo.... I also thought I was low, so I was trying my hardest to bring up my blood by choking back fruit bars and trying to drink my (frozen) gatorade. I found out a hour later when my meter thawed enough to use that my blood was actually in the 30's (540 for any American readers) and it was not a good day getting it back to normal.... More on that later though!