TWINS!!!!

Wow, and how times change.... So after my last post, Jamie and I took another trip to Vegas (which was amazing) and we had actually just thought that we would 'stop' trying for a couple months and just enjoy the holidays and the cruise (which we're going on next week!) ** Holy crap, I just realized how LONG this post is going to be, sorry!!!**

Well, life had a different plan for us. I had an obgyn appt on November 26th and he had his locum (I think that's the right word) try to do a hysteroscope on me to just double check and make sure my uterus looked normal etc. She didn't actually end up getting in (from what I understood) but he took a sample for a biopsy. When he was finished I realized that I was on CD 20 and said 'so I guess if I WAS pregnant, I'm likely not anymore...?' He said that if there was anything, it would likely still be in my fallopian tube, but yes - not a great idea to do that in the second half of your cycle. I wasn't too worried, because I didn't think there was a chance of anything happening anyways, and I was glad that we were just taking steps to make sure that there wasn't anything wrong with me. I  consulted Dr. Google when I got home and yep - everything said to only do it prior to ovulation, so I had completely written off that month. The next Monday, Jamie and I went out to get a Christmas Tree and when we got home, I was just strictly BORED so I decided to take a pregnancy test. I had been obsessed with peeing on sticks in previous months and we had stock piled some tests from last time we were down in the states (so much cheaper down there) so why not. My period wasn't due for a couple days, but again - I was bored. Well.... instantly I saw what looked like a 'blank line' if that makes sense and then very quickly..... a very very bright pink positive!

So after I called my Mom (who had just landed in California) bawling my eyes out, I e-mailed my awesome endo and shared the news with her. She had been a key part of the 'process' and I was excited to let her know! The next day I had my first blood test. I had my hcg levels tested... 5 times I think, and I noticed that when I was supposed to be 5 weeks, my levels were in the 6 week range. I knew that it's common for the range to be veryyy broad, so I didn't really think too much of it, but I did e-mail my endo a week before my U/S and said 'my hcg levels seem high - I think there's two in there!!'. She (rightly) told me to stop googling, haha!! Everything seemed great, and morning sickness started kicking my ass pretty bad right around 5.5 weeks, but nothing crazy or anything.

Little baby 'A' & 'B'!

 I had my ultrasound scheduled for December 28th and I was glad it was on a Friday before I had a 4 day weekend, I was so worried that somehow something was wrong and that there wouldn't be anything in my uterus - again, I had been reading way too many scary stories. I started chugging my water at the right time, and promptly threw up most of the 4 cups I was supposed to drink, always fun! Luckily I was able to keep sipping throughout the drive, and when I got in, the tech was able to get a good look right away. He was probing around and I instantly saw a little heart beating in there (so cool by the way!!) I thought I'd be funny and so I said 'There's only one in there, right? heh heh'. He instantly said 'Ah, I'm not confident about that yet...' continued moving the little wand thing around 'nope! you have two little people growing in you!' At that point he said it would be best to have a female come in and do a transvaginal ultrasound with a female tech and I had to empty my bladder. He told me not to tell Jamie yet (who was waiting to come in about 20 feet away) just to make sure first. He led me to the main bathrooms, which were in use, and he had to bring me to one directly in front of where Jamie was sitting. I have the WORST poker face in the world and just held up two fingers and said 'TWO!!!' I went to pee and started crying instantly. I don't know if it was shock, nerves, hormones, fear.... either way it was an emotional moment, haha! I went back in and the tech started searching around and then she went and got Jamie to show him as well. There are very few things I actually remember from the Ultrasound. I heard 'identical', 'membrane', 'two yolk sacs', 'they look perfectly normal', and that one was 1.03 cm, and the other was 1.06 cm, which is a great sign that they're measuring so close in size. We also saw both heart beats, but didn't get the BPM or anything. The Ultrasound finished up, and we went to sit down while they printed us a picture and double checked everything. Of course we couldn't wait to tell family, and we were just completely brain dead in shock about it all. I barely heard a word the original tech said although I heard something about 'they're sharing an apartment, we hope they have separate fridges'. I thought there were identical and fraternal twins, but that it didn't make any difference during the pregnancy. The tech did mention that identical was higher risk, and when I said that I hoped they were boy/girl he very quickly shot down that idea as they are identical!

Jamie and I left in a daze, photo in hand, and headed home - where I instantly started googling.... Let me just say that was a terrible idea. I instantly came across a lot of information on 'mo/mo' twins, which is where the babies are sharing a placenta (apartment) and amniotic sac (fridge). Because the tech had made it pretty clear that he didn't see a membrane between them, I instantly assumed they are mo/mo and could only envision 50/50 chances of making it to viability, hospital bedrest at 24 weeks, and umbilical cords tangled up to the size of a softball. As I continued my research (of course I couldn't actually talk to my obgyn as he's closed over the holidays) I found some reassuring information. Couple things; mo/mo twins are VERY rare, like 1 in 50,000 chances. Yes I bought a lottery ticket this week, why not. Also, two yolk sacs usually mean two amniotic sacs. Not always, but usually. I'll take that. They are also attached on opposite sides of my uterus, so there is lots of room for a membrane between them. Many women are misdiagnosed as mo/mo and the membrane isn't found until 10-14 weeks. The odds are in our favour that they DO have a membrane, so until I hear otherwise, those little guys have some separation between them.

Now because the main point of this blog is about my diabetes, I'll talk (briefly for now) about that. Days prior to finding out, and for 2 or 3 days afterwards, my blood was running really really high. My blood is typically high through the second half of my cycle, and until I found out, I didn't think too much of it. I ran with a +10% basal for a few days, and since then, I've had the opposite problem. I have cut down my basals significantly, and I am still experiencing a lot of lows, especially at night. I can go to bed at 7.6 with no insulin on board (iob) and even with my basals cut down pretty aggressively I am still waking up at 4AM needing a juice box every night. I'm thinking I'm going to have to just start waking up at 3AM for a snack to avoid this! If I don't wake up at 4AM, I am waking up at 7:30 in the 2's, very frustrating. None of my lows have been 'bad', and I know that I will be experiencing some extreme insulin resistance in a few short months, so I am happy to deal with this (and enjoy some extra juice boxes and snacks) for now. This is going to be a challenge unlike any other I've had, and I am ready to take it on. All I can do is test frequently, keep up with my Dr's appt's, which are frequent and just do the best job I can.

So to summarize this insanely long post.... I am excited, nervous, terrified, overwhelmed and a million other emotions. It's funny how it is all switching over to just extreme awe now. I never knew I could be so ATTACHED to two little balls of cells in my uterus, the size of raspberries. I even look at the ultrasound pic and think that baby a is more like me as a child - very outgoing and 'out there' - at least in the picture, and baby b is more like little Jamie. It was quietly cuddled up against the placenta during the ultrasound. I think they are the cutest things in the world and can't wait to know if they are boys or girls. I originally thought boys, but now my guesses change every 5 minutes. 2013 should be an AMAZING year, bring it on!!!

Little cuties, safe in my tum!

Still Nothing!

Short update today - still nothing to share!

And this website won't show the picture I had on here, booo. I'll have to figure out a way to put it back on!

Jamie and I are headed off to Vegas in less than 2 weeks, can't wait!

Hopefully we'll have some actual news to post on here one of these years, this is getting annoying!

Back at it

Kilimanjaro in the background!

I have officially summitted Mount Kilimanjaro for the second time. This Kili trek was the HARDEST thing I have ever done. My Mom told me that summit night was harder than being in labour and giving birth (she delivered me and my brother both through natural unmedicated labours) so I'm looking forward to the next step of my life. I am planning on doing a whole blog post about the entire adventure, but it will take me a long time to write. The experience was just simply amazing. You can't even begin to imagine how gorgeous the scenery is; how amazing it is to wake up one morning to trek up and over a rock wall that had been intimidating you all night, and to finally make it all the way to the top. It is truly beyond words, but I will try one day to write something and add more photos etc. I'm still starting my photo book - I printed off all of my photos, but printed photos just aren't as exciting as the new books you can make, I'll get there!

Anyways, since I've been back, life has been going well. Jamie and I are back in the swing of trying to make things happen, and even though I say I am 'just going to let it happen' it is so difficult. I don't know how to not obsess over every single 'symptom' in the second half of your cycle. I've tried, believe me. We're going to give it another couple of months and then maybe start looking at getting some testing done. I'm sure everythings fine, but it's frustrating for sure. I always expected we'd throw away the condoms, ditch the birth control and BAM be pregnant. I wish it was that simple, but it just isn't. I can't wait until I can use this blog to talk about managing my diabetes through pregnancy, instead of just talking about the future. I know we'll get there soon though, so I'm staying positive! We've put off TTC for a few things in the past year, and I have to say I'm glad we did during those times. I wouldn't wake up with perfect vision (thank you laser eye surgery) and have enough memories to last a lifetime from the Kili trek if we didn't take a break.

Diabetes wise.... I have been slipping a little bit. After 3 years of writing down all of my blood sugars, I have stopped logging everything and even though I say I will download my meter and pump every week, that hasn't been happening. I need to get that back on track for sure. I think I went so hard trying to prepare the other times we've been TTC that when we took some time off I just let it all go. I'm not saying anything is BAD, I need to do a new A1C but I think it will still be pretty good. I just don't obsess the way I have in the past. I don't always test exactly an hour after a meal, I don't wake up at 2AM to see what's going on in the middle of the night. I'm sure that will all change as soon as I see 2 lines on a pregnancy test, I think I need to get out of the mindframe of thinking 'it's never going to happen' that I occasionally fall into and keep the good thoughts coming.

I'll update again soon - hopefully with good news! I'm just way to impatient for this stuff, I swear! I'll finish this with a photo of my Mom & I at the top of Kilimanjaro. I was SO out of it during this photo.... I also thought I was low, so I was trying my hardest to bring up my blood by choking back fruit bars and trying to drink my (frozen) gatorade. I found out a hour later when my meter thawed enough to use that my blood was actually in the 30's (540 for any American readers) and it was not a good day getting it back to normal.... More on that later though!

Almost Time!!!

Wow, this website looks different once again, weird! Oh well.. :)

I am leaving Vancouver and heading to Moshi in only... 17 sleeps! Holy moly, it's coming up so soon! I am feeling very unprepared, and need to start packing! I feel like I planned way earlier for the other treks. I need to get things like long underwear and hiking poles, and start stock piling snacks to bring on the trek. I also need to get a camera, I'm thinking about buying one that takes double A's, so that I don't need to be worried about it dying half way up the mountain. My current camera has been crappy lately, and I also have my waterproof one which is great, but doesn't work all that wonderful unless it's for the 'beach/pool' thing. So methinks I need to hit up Future Shop in the next week and finally find something that I love. My Mom and I are determined to get some good pics on the top of Kili, even though I explained to her that you feel pretty much DEAD at the top. I thought a lot about using a different backpack (as mine is ugly and orange) but it is SO comfortable and I think that's more important than something stylish. Either way, exciting stuff!!!

Other updates on the home life is that I really hope Jamie gets around to finishing the backyard while I'm gone! We've been debating whether or not to put in a deck (I say yes, he says no) and I'm getting to the point where I don't care, I just want it done! I want to enjoy the summer out the back with a fire pit, that's all I want! The May long weekend was fun, it was my birthday on the Thursday, Friday I went for a hike and then to the Keg with my Honey, which is always great. Saturday I went boating with my family, and Sunday/Monday I think Jamie and I just drank and lazed around the house, haha! I can't remember exactly.

With the baby updates, we're going to see how things go when I get back from Kilimanjaro. We went to Vegas at the beginning of May (for our third 'last hurrah') and that was a ton of fun. When I get back in late June, we want to just see how things go, and try to not put pressure on ourselves. I know I'm going to change my mind completely and obsess over everything, but my plan is to NOT PLAN!!! We'll see how that works out for us though. I am excited to get pregnant, but at the same time, I love our summers of having a palm bay on Friday nights after work (or maybe a couple) and just enjoying the good times. If it doesn't happen, there is talk of another Vegas trip in September, so we'll see!

Anyways, I'll try to update again before Kilimanjaro, but no promises. And I know there is not a single diabetes update on here, but things are pretty much the same as always right now!

Until next time :)

Change of plans, for now!

Whew - don't blog for a couple months and the website completely changes!

Anyways, plans have changed. Jamie and I kinda 'tried' for January and February, and a few weeks ago I actually booked a trip to Africa to climb Mount Kilimanjaro to raise money for diabetes research with JDRF. This is my fourth trek with this group, and I am so excited to take on this challenge. This of course does mean that babies are pushed on the back burner once again, but I'm okay with that. I briefly googled if it's safe to be at a high altitude when pregnant, and it doesn't seem like it! I'll be back in late June, and then Jamie and I are looking at potentially booking another Vegas trip for our two year wedding anniversary in July, so who knows. I'm at a point where it'll happen when it happens. I'm in a good place, my blood is behaving (although I am very overdue for my 6 month blood tests!) and life is pretty good.

I'm looking forward to getting into shape for Kili, and hopefully carrying that through into the summer! Anyways, that's about all that's new for me lately, I'm going to try to update this more in the future, and I'm considering renaming the blog, but we'll see.

If you're reading this, please check out my donor drive page with JDRF. It has all of the information on the past treks and why I am doing this. My Mom is actually joining the team this time and helping to try and raise funds again this year. This is such a great cause. I was 17 when the first trek was completed; and to have close to 10 diabetic teens reach the top of Mount Kilimanjaro was unheard of. Now the existing and new members of the team are all a little more grown up, but we are still sharing our journey.

My donordrive page with JDRF can be found here. Please read it and donate if you can. Any money raised goes DIRECTLY TO THE CAUSE. None of the donations pay for the trip, it is all paid for completely by the people going on the trip.

Thanks, and until next time.... :)

Wonderful Wednesday!

Note to self: When the pump educator says not to change infusion sets before bed, take it to heart. I have never had a problem before and have been changing my sites every 3 days shortly before bed. Last night was just like any other night, except my infusion set was a little bit more painful going in. It felt like the cannula was out of place, but after 5 or so minutes, it was back to normal. I was at 12.7 before bed, so I did a correction bolus and hit the hay. I had a terrible sleep (which isn't all that uncommon) and woke up with that terrible cotton mouth feeling. Took a look at my site and it was looking yucky.... Tested and 21.8. I haven't been that high in as long as I can remember!!! I took out the site right away and it was totally kinked in half and had been laying next to my skin pumping my basal onto my stomach, not INTO my stomach all night. Took about 4 hours for it to come back down (and close to 10 units of insulin!) but eventually it leveled out and it hasn't been bad since then. But I will be a little bit more careful next time, that's for sure!!

And then it just doesn't make sense sometimes...

Last night my blood wasn't terrible during the day, and before the gym I was at a glorious 6.0 before leaving the house. I set a temp basal of -40% for my workout and had it stretched out for 3 hours, even though I knew it would be reset when I changed my infusion set that night (around 1.5 hours in). I had a pretty good workout and at the grocery store on the way home I was 6.5, which I actually took a picture of because I was so proud. I've been having troubles with my numbers post-gym lately so this was a big moment for me.

Come home, have a snack, switch out the infusion set (yay for not seeing blood drip down my pants!), and tested around 11:30... 13.8. I went the ezbg route and completely ignored the fact that I likely had iob that wasn't taken into consideration due to my site change. About an hour after my correction, I was down to 11.8, so not a huge improvement. I figured it would come down eventually and headed to bed.

I had a ton of trouble sleeping, and tested my blood somewhere around 1:15AM, and I had dropped to 6. I was happy with that and was looking forward to waking up in the morning in the 5's, right where I should be. When I opened my eyes a couple hours later and noticed that it was 3:17 I knew there was only one reason, and I could feel it coming on. I fumbled for my blood checker in the dark (why can't the ping have a light for the test strip) and after taking FIVE tries to draw blood I discovered that I was at an (un)healthy 1.7. As soon as you see the number you feel it a thousand times more, but I headed downstairs to sugar up before heading back to bed and hopefully getting some sleep.

Anyone diabetic understands the feeling of a late night low, and I was up and eating/reading the newspaper until 3:45 AM. I realized I had consumed way more carbs than I should have and attempted to bolus without overbolusing and eventually just went to sleep and hoped for the best.

Morning came with a 9.5 (ugghhh, so not the 5.3 my endo would like me to wake up to) to start my day and it's been wonky from there. I was fine after breakfast, dropping by lunch. After lunch I lingered high until dinner (when I was dropping again) and since then I have been plummeting no matter what I do. I just ate some carrots and pistachios so I'm hoping that stabilizes things a little bit.

It's just so frustrating that what works one day, does absolutely nothing the next day. I have been googling all day to see when Dexcom might be coming to Canada and I haven't been able to find anything - but hopefully soon. In the meantime I am going to play dexcom one day this week and test every 30 minutes during the day and every hour at night.... At least that's my plan for this week, we'll see when it actually happens.

Enough of this crabappleness, let's end this with Holly; because I actually sang 'you are my sunshine' to her tonight and she is a perfect way to brighten a day. Only Jamie is my other (brighter)sunshine, although Holly looks a lot cuter than he would when being completely enthralled with a stuffed octapus missing 2 legs.